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Adeline Makai

Thank you everyone. I have been so humbled and grateful for your support throughout every single step of this past 9 weeks and I wish I had a more eloquent way of expressing my gratitude to you all. Yesterday in particularly was an emotional day as we opened the front door to a MASSIVE pile of Target baby registry gifts from you all. Words truly can't express how thankful I am to all of you for coming together to help my family and I like this. I am grateful to have such incredible and thoughtful family and friends, willing to help out in this chaotic time of need.

For those of you who don't know, I went to the doctor a couple of times last week and was told my body is too stressed out and not tolerating this pregnancy very well anymore. We're now hoping to get Adeline Makai to 35 weeks and see how far we can take it from there. I'm on the version of bed rest which can work best for me given our circumstances and hoping to keep her as happy and healthy as possible until doc says it's go time. Ideally we can get her to 37 weeks but he's assured me even if we have to deliver at 35 weeks the chances of her having to be in the NICU are about 9% and that we'll have to see what happens between now and then. Being that we packed and moved in such a haste from Hawaii to Idaho, I don't have any of the things Brian and I had bought and/or had stored for Adeline. They are all in transit making their way here so the items you've all chipped in and purchased for her have taken such a burden off of my shoulders; financially, physically and emotionally. Getting the news last week that I'm potentially going to be delivering her on Tuesday was enough to deal with - the last thing I had the emotional energy to do was go to Target and go baby shopping. I'm truly so grateful to you all.

Overall, I wish I could say the days are getting easier and passing more quickly, but they're just not. Every single day presents a new set of challenges, startling news, memories that should make me happy but just make me sad and more to realize I'm left alone to deal with and process. I still cry everyday. I miss my best friend, my partner and the love of my life. He's the one person I need here to help me through this and he's the one person who's not. I'm scared to have this baby without him, through labor and delivery without him there rubbing my back and holding my hand, but even more so to raise her without getting to know the best person I've ever known. She'll get to hear stories and know him through us, but his presence was something you only had to be in once to understand it's impact and I'm so sad she'll never get to experience that.

Again, thank you all for your thoughts, messages and actions showing your support to my family and I as we continue to journey through this. I am so appreciative.




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Lessons of turning tragedy into triumph 

from a military widow

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