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She's here.

Adeline Makai Bugge was born Tuesday, July 31st 2018 @ 155PM. She was 6 pounds 15 ounces and so far is healthy as can be!

It’s truly going to take a village to help me raise these three babies of ours, so a sincere thank you in advance to all of you whom I consider our village and who have helped with your words and actions of encouragement during this entire process. My brother in law sent a photo yesterday of the front porch which was covered in boxes of diapers and baby items! I am truly humbled by all of your generosity and thoughtfulness- We will be in a good place when we get released from here -to start this life of ours together with touches of so many of you.

Many of you asked if I had someone with me or a support system during labor and I’m so incredibly thankful to say that Brian’s sister, Nikki, -who hasn’t left my side in over 10 weeks- held my hand yesterday as Adeline came into this world, welcoming her niece with tears, laughter and love.

Labor and delivery itself was a beautiful and calm experience. I went from 4cm to baby born in just over an hour and Adeline more or less delivered herself! I was able to help pull her out myself at the end and then cut the umbilical cord which was a cathartic experience for me. Besides back pain from 3 failed epidural attempts, I am feeling great today. Because I was having organ failure yesterday they’re keeping a close eye on me but as of 3am have taken me off all meds except pain management and we’ll see where the day and my body takes us. Adeline has been a champ as well, eating solidly at every feeding, no sign of jaundice and keeping up her blood sugars so no NICU time as of yet!

From an emotional standpoint, I’m doing ok. I kept a photo of Brian on my bedside table and a memorial card in my hands as I labored. I had a couple of moments where my sadness got the best of me - wishing Brian was there with me to meet the daughter we created together and that the baby I was about to push out would be meeting her father - but neither of those are realities for us so instead I wept and let it out and used the energy to bring Adeline here. I know how proud he would be of both Adeline and I, how thankful he’d be that Nikki was there with us. I can see his beaming smile, picture the way he’d look at & be enamored with his new daughter. Today instead of feeling sad for all that we each lost with Brian, I’m going to try my best to feel happy for what we gained yesterday with the birth of his daughter, one more way for his legacy to shine on and for me to appreciate the love and life we were able to share together.



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Lessons of turning tragedy into triumph 

from a military widow

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